Crush

I am an insecure disaster. I need constant reassurance. I know I look confident and secure...and hell after 16 years you'd think I know love and get love...turns out nah. I'm still an idiot on love. 

Do I want to have to ask for basic things? No. Do I want to ask and then realize it's going to be the husband getting flowers because you asked conundrum? NO. Fuck this whole thing. Honestly. I'm so tired of being in my head. I wish just for once I could enjoy something for what it is. But that's also not true because I deserve to have my needs met as well.

I'm exhausted. Maybe I should just stfu. I'm bored.

I don't want to do that.

~Emi

oof

In the beginning God made the world and saw it was good. 

The. Wtf happened? I have no elegance tonight. I'm torn and confused and honestly.... A bit...nevermind. 

In the words of my chemical romance. I'm okay, trust me. 

it is cancer season or am I a little bitch?

Why can't I communicate? Like in general. I'm a peacekeeper, I'm the one who feels and tells. But am I? No. Easier to shove it all down. I've completely shut down the last week and it's starting to get to me. 

Fuck this.