Yeah song quote. I don't know. My brain said to type it. It's weird to be happy this long. I'm so used to self sabotage and my own self.created drama. I'm really tired today. Not sure if it's from carrying the literal weight of everything last week, a cranky 2 year old kicking my back all night or the fact I'm a beacon for emotion dumping. Which I'm not complaining about. Knowing I'm a safe space, actually makes me happy. I didn't have one growing up, so it's vital that I'm safe. However I need better boundaries so I can protect my empathic heart. Reading real drama is so hard, helping someone through it...harder still.
And yet as tired as I am, last week was great. I hate being bored. I need to catch up tomorrow. I'm drowning at home after two days of not being home. It will be fine though. Always is. Just need to get out to somewhere besides target and on the border.
My brain went on a tangent about hot girl summer and I have to laugh. My friends know me as a nonjudgmental person but in my head, I'm a real bitch. I'm working on it, but jeez. Lol
Felt a bit guilty our friend did a mass for Brian, and I don't think I can ever go back to that church. I just...can't. I don't belong there. My life and my love aren't not sins..I'm more than a means to reproduce.
I wont get into it now. Off to distract my brain before it goes too far off the deep end today.
-Emi
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