Have I been cleaning for 13 hours minus food breaks? Yes.
Did we finally finish Chamber of Secrets while I folded laundry? Also yes.
Am I frustrated because I can't find my fucking charger? Fucking hell. Yes.
I told my sister today. It was both anxiety riddled and relief. She of course accepts me for who I am and what I want with my life. I ended up telling her how I feel about her husband and she defended him. I told her I would try to get to know him better. But I'm still cautious. That's what sister's do I think. I wouldn't know. It's been so much bullshit in our family, I'm just now getting my sister.
I cried today. I've been crying a lot. Beats being angry tho. L&D still haven't bothered to text or call. They bailed as usual. I....can't say I'm surprised after everything. To think that's who I used to emulate. That's what I wanted. Gross 🤢. I hope I'm never like that.
Had a long talk with my oldest today. He told me he finds boys and girls attractive. Depends on the person. Same my dude. Same. He's very perceptive and asked some good questions. I answered. Weird day. More growth.
But back to what I want to be. Happy, confident and more like her. Lighting up a room, commanding it, the fire....it's mesmerizing. I don't want to command the room but I want to be noticed and not because my aura says, I'll be your emotional dumpster. I want it to say, bad bitch.
P and A help a lot too. They're my sister wives. They support and love be when I'm full blown pisces deep in a crisis or when I'm just happy because I've got the hottest feyfriend in the Galaxy. Need to check on A more. Her pregnancy was a surprise and she needs support. P is like me, happy to express and validate and ask for what they need. I want to emulate being more aware of what I need like her.
Pride nails? Maybe. Poly nails? Maybe.
Off to do more laundry and cleaning because future me will be grateful.
-Emi
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